As everyone knows, clowns are the bane of society. They are irritating, annoying, unclean, unpleasant to be near, and quite frankly they scare the hell out of me. This is the basis for our 4th of July '99 amusements (as lowbrow as they may be.)
They say that clowns oftentimes use their smiling makeup to hide the frowns they have underneath. I figured that if there are all these sad clowns running around, we should put a couple out of their misery.
On July 3rd I managed, with the assistance of some good friends, to obtain some combustibles (or, in layman's terms, fireworks.) I will not go into details, because they are very boring (hot car, long trip through yee-haw country, etc.) I mentioned this to answer any questions you might have about how someone from NY got fireworks (every child through adult's dream.... at least for males.) How should we put these precious items to good use? Blow things up of course. Which gets me back to my original point (yes, I did have one.)
Simple math states : Explosives + Hated Clown Toys = (Fun + Justice.) And of course these events could not take place unless they were being recorded for posterity. Since mere words can not describe the sheer beauty of clown dismemberment, I have included pictures for you to enjoy. Broken into different categories (for simplicity's sake, plus you'd probably get lost in a mess of web pages,) here are the wondrous events :
Episode I : Cruel and Unusual.
Episode II : Marie Antoinette
Episode III : Clown Head (not what you think.)